Back from the hospital

This blog post was brought to you buy the makers of
Morphine
Generic Name: morphine (MOR feen) dispensed by pushing a small button remote control attached to your I.V. in the hospital after surgery.

Taking this drug may result in side effects such as

• constipation;
• loss of appetite;
• dizziness, headache, anxiety;
• thinking you are pushing the dispenser button in your drugged and dazed stupor, only to find out you’ve been pushing the bolt on the side of the bed instead.
• seeing giant flying cheeseburgers
• and watching Sponge Bob Squarepants who has come to
visit and is dancing in the corner by the window.

Additional side effects such as thinking you are having complete conversations with people in the room may occur, only to find out they were all in your head. (Both the conversations and the people).

Feeling that you can teleport out of your hospital room in order to go downstairs, dig up a tree to put in your briefcase, so you can bring it back without being noticed may also occur. If you try to explain this to any visitors that may be present, they will look puzzled and snicker quietly for the moment then tell these stories later at family gatherings.

Talk to your Doctor if you experience any of these symptoms or similar ones, because he could probably use a good laugh.
-------------------

I am out of the hospital after my surgery and feeling much better each day. I’m not suggesting that I experienced any of the morphine symptoms mentioned above…I’m just sayin’.