Fairy Tales: This just in...

According to new data released by the U.S. Census Bureau, CNN Money, and the President's Council of Economic Advisors, the amount of money the tooth fairy must leave under the pillows of today’s children, after factoring in the comparative cost of living between the 1970’s and 2005, is 5 times higher than it was for children in the 1970’s.

The going rate for a baby tooth in mint condition, assuming no decay or breakage, adjusted using an annual average measured against regional differences for the cost of consumer goods and dental services, excluding taxes, for professional and managerial household incomes is higher than it has ever been.

This new data, is based on information collected quarterly by chambers of commerce and applied economic centers from Tooth Fairies in each participating urban area.

The composite index is based on four components for more than 50,000 different tooth assortments: Obvious dental hygiene, size, color, and the absence of any occlusions.

Tooth Fairies everywhere are speaking out against this extreme rise in the per-tooth payout, and have legally sought assistance from financial aid institutes across America. They are voicing their concern over possible adverse effects this increase could have on children of different families with varying income levels and urge children to understand that small differences in pay out should not be interpreted as unfair partiality.