The Color Test

I received this test via an email. It's very interesting to see how your brain functions...

or doesn't.

http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf

Be the Man Women Desire.

I didn't sleep a wink last night.
It’s almost impossible to sleep when you’ve got an awkward rubber tray in your mouth filled with tooth whitener! The makers of xyz brand tooth whitening gel misrepresented their product when they called it a “comfort fit” mouth piece, because as far as I can tell, there is nothing comfortable about the whole experience whatsoever.

After gagging and salivating all night… I was thrilled when daylight peeked through the curtains announcing a reasonable hour to get out of bed. I hurried to the bathroom, removed the whole mess in hopes that my teeth would be as pearly white as the woman’s on the box. Her teeth have little sparkles on them and I love sparkly things (which is how their marketing ploy got me in the first place).

To my disappointment, I didn’t see any difference then when I went to bed.
Certainly no sparkles …
Not even a lousy twinkle.

---------

I checked my email, which was an equally disappointing experience only not half as messy.
I’m expecting word from the person who is escorting Little Man on his flight to Belgium tomorrow, arranging final details as to where I will meet her and so forth, but alas…no news yet.

There was however, one spam letter that caught my interest titled.

“Be the Man women desire”.

Um….

How, for the love of God they think there is any kind of pill or cream that could turn me into the MAN women desire is a sales pitch worthy of my brief attention. I would have read the mail out of sheer curiosity alone, had I not been suspicious of virus threats,

so it was deleted unread.

The mysteries of science flushed into cyber space along with my 30% off coupon for Victoria’s Secret, and my daily horoscope.

Everybody..Sing With Me Now

You put the laundry in,
You take the laundry out,
You put the laundry in…

…because you waited too long before you got around to folding it, and now it’s cold and wrinkly.

Bummer.
I hate it when that happens.

The darks are going round and round in the dryer again …just to heat ‘em up a bit, so I can quickly remove them, smooth them out on the floor, avoiding that whole ironing thing.

I’ll do anything to get out of ironing.

I’m rather particular when it comes to the manner in which dirty clothes become clean again, so I claim the chore of laundry as my own. I have really long legs, and if anyone else was to do the laundry, they would inevitably put my pants in the dryer causing my pants to become capris, my capris to become shorts, and my shorts to become…well…
too short.

I don’t mind doing the laundry, in fact, I enjoy the way a pile of clothes fresh from the dryer smells of “spring breeze Bounce” and feels warm against my skin. If there’s something in the mix that needs ironing, it goes into a huge purple Tupperware container that sits on the floor in my office.

Behold the ironing pile.

Only it’s starting to resemble an ironing mountain now, because if you look near the top you’ll see some snow caps and a few recreational skiers. In fact, my iron mountain has grown so large that the FAA has informed me it will soon be getting it’s own airport.

The idea behind the iron pile, is that once the purple bucket is filled, I will rent a movie, break out the self steaming Rowenta iron my mother informed me is by far, worth it’s weight in gold, and watch TV while I iron. Sounds like a reasonable plan right?

Of course by the looks of things, I’ll be needing to rent a nice long mini series or something.

I admit the ironing can get ahead of me with moments. I've been known to find clothes in the laundry pile that the children have somehow outgrown. And those black pants that went missing a few months ago are sure to resurface again from the bottom of the bucket. (if I ever make it to the bottom that is).

I’ll be taking movie recommendations for this weeks ironing marathon.
If you are really good at doing laundry, please feel free to come on by and help a sister out.

I’ll supply the popcorn. -smile-

Questions...and answers

Tagged three times: hmmm.

Let’s consolidate.

Robin at Funky Bugs had some interview questions for me, and Melonie at Insanity Reigns, along with D. at Corporate Crapola hit me up with the music meme.


From Melonies And D’s tag:

1. Total volume of music files on my computer? I have no earthly idea.

2. The last CD I bought was?
I can’t remember? “Trick Pony”, I think .


3. What song is playing right now?
I’m not listening to anything except the rain outside. It’s really coming down!

4. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):
Five? Just five? You're asking me to choose just five? ha ha ha ha!
How about this.
I like music that makes me feel like dancing, or that I can really hear the individual components of the tune. Here's a few I can think of at the moment.
“ Pour Me” by Trick Pony, “No Such Thing” by John Mayer, Eminem, “I want my MTV”, Ricky Martin, classical piano, or Yo Yo Ma, “Step Daddy”, by Sammy Sam because it makes me laugh, “Sweet Home Alabama”, “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” by Big & Rich, More Country: Lonestar, Rascal Flats, Kenny Chesney, Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, …I could go on and on and on. I even like those meditative C.D.'s they play in the background while you're getting a massage that sound like water,birds, and flutes. There’s just no rhyme or reason to what I like.

5. Which 3 people are you passing this baton to, and why?

Sque because I always like the music she plays on her blog

J&J’s Mom, because I’m just curious, and she loves purple too.

Funky Bugs, because she cracks me up!
If you’ve already done this meme once, than don’t worry about it! I apologize for missing it.

And now for Robin’s Questions:


(1) Have you ever been in a fist fight?
Me? A fist fight? Oh heavens no, I’m far to non confrontational for that! Besides, I’d break a nail, or a bone, or hell,…let’s be honest…anyone could kick my butt!

(2) If you could slap any celebrity, which famous person would you choose and why?
That would be Jessica Simson! Hands down. Please somebody….make her stop!

(3) What was your favorite childhood toy?
Roller Skates. I lived at the Roller skating rink!

(4) If you could only spend $10 on a date night, what would you do?
10 dollars huh? Hmmm…knowing me I’d rent a movie, start to watch it…then get distracted by something, would never see the end of the movie….leave it on the player with the intention of watching the ending the next day…only to forget about it…find it a week later…return it late, and be forced to pay a $10 late fee.

(5) Where you a good kid, or a bad kid? Would your parents agree with you?
Mostly good. With secret intermittent periods of being good at being bad.
My parents would agree!

There you have it. I've done my duty. If you'd like some interview questions...let me know and i'll throw some your way.

I know how to dress myself...honest I do.

I’m just going to drop my son off at school this morning through the car pool line. No one will notice that I’m still damp from the shower, wet hair dripping down my back, and …oh…yes…here,…I’ll just throw on these ugly black penny loafers, with this white sweat shirt and maroon jogging pants, because they’re so easy to get on when I’m in a hurry, and gosh…we’re already few minutes late!

It’s not like anyone is going to see me this way…or even notice that I didn’t bother to put on socks with my shoes, because hey…I’ll be in the car right?

(5 minutes later in the car pool line, as the lower school principal courteously assists Little man open the car door).

Her: “Oh hi Mrs. Little Man, I don’t know if you remember or not, but this morning is our open portfolio viewing of the kids school work from this year? Everything is all set up in the classroom and the parents our invited to come in and take a look!

Me: “uh...(looking down at my irregular ensemble) …um…

Her: “I’m just reminding everyone, and don’t worry, ha ha ha…I’ve already sent a few parents in with near-pajama-like clothes on” she sais laughingly.


Alrighty then.

You can do this Suzanne. It’s your son’s hard work, sweat and tears on display in there and that’s far more important than your personal vanity isn’t it?

After parking the van, I pull down the sun visor for a quick glimpse in the mirror and a futile attempt to fluff my wet hair. I’d dab on a bit of face powder from my compact,…had I not left it in my purse back home, and If I pull the legs of my sweats down really low, it will cover up the sliver of glowing white ankle skin peaking out of these black, sockless shoes. Just suck it up girl and walk tall.
(Did I mention Little Man is Laughing at me?)

If Mrs. Lower School Principal sent any other parents into the building wearing “pajama-like” attire, they certainly went in and hid in a bathroom somewhere, because in my son’s classroom they were not. Oh no.

There were however, a dozen or so well dressed men and women sporting business suits, and coordinating footwear, oh-ing and ah-hing over their children’s accomplishments.

Breath in….Breath out.

Although my self confidence might have been waning just a bit, I’m nonetheless glad I went in. I got to see the beautiful picture of the Siamese cat Little Man painted, the poem he wrote about me explaining why he loved Holidays so much: (Because his Mom is a good ‘dekorater’), and the photograph of him holding an owl that was taken on their last fieldtrip to Oatland Island Wildlife Reserve.

I didn’t even flinch at the facial expressions on the parents around me who are accustomed to my appearance being a bit more pulled together. They just kind of giggled in a knowing fashion as to say… “Don’t worry honey, we’ve all been there before”.

It was great, and I’m glad that I got to see what he’s accomplished this last year!

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go get dressed.

It's raining it's pouring, I'd rather be snoring

It rained so fast and furious this afternoon that the sewage drains struggled to remove the rainwater overflow in a timely fashion, causing our fair city to look more like a little Venice than Savannah. The streets flooded and automobiles sputtered as they choked through the streets ill equipped with accessories such as outboard motors and boat propellers. If you’re looking for a new business opportunity might I suggest manufacturing some sort of hybrid automoboat vehicle? I believe it would do well here, as we are ill equipped to handle downpours.

It was the perfect day to throw on a pair of comfy sweat pants, big droopy socks, and to curl up on the couch with a good self help book,… only as luck would have it, I have a job.

Jobs require you to show up and produce something of value, and clients tend to look down there noses at such relaxed attire as jogging suits. I opted instead for a more appropriate to-do, tobacco colored linen pants and a contrasting black cotton twin set and off I went.

I could recount my afternoon, but I’d rather not relive it again. It was only mildly amusing the first go-round so I’ll spare us all the details. It is safe to say however, that I indeed showed up, and produced something of value.

That leaves me with just a few updates for today.

1. The cat is still taking medicine for his upset digestive track. If you’ve never given a cat a pill, well now…there’s something you’ve been missing. Follow these instructions carefully and you’ll do just fine.

2. I am now wearing those sweat pants and big droopy socks, and while it has stopped raining, I am never the less…comfy, and on the couch.

3. While self help books are…um…helpful at best, I am going to read a few of my favorite blogs tonight instead. “Blog Ho” and “Go Fug Yourself” are not particularly therapeutic in nature, but they’re far more entertaining than reading about disorders and syndromes, so self help is scheduled for another evening.

4. I worked in the yard all day Sunday, and it once again looks like civilized folk live here. I mowed, weeded, edged, raked, fertilized, mulched, and pesticized my domestic little heart out.

5. The countdown begins for little man’s yearly summer journey to Belgium. I’ve got his passport renewed, and I’m practicing my “I’m not crying” routine, so I should have it down pat by the end of the month. I always miss him soooo much when he’s gone, it’s just not the same without my little man at home.

That’s a another post. Maybe for tomorrow.

I’ll never tell

Several times a day, I am overcome with inspiration. Something I see or hear can send my heart into a swell of emotion, oozing with recollection or remembrance.

What I haven’t yet decided is if this overpowering wash of sentiment is a blessing,
or a curse.

I’m more inclined to say a distraction, as sentiment can be debilitating with moments.

Isn’t it true that what you don’t know can’t hurt you?
That ignorance is bliss?
That if we lived each day in a shallow trench, life would be simple. Although, while we may not reach the stars soaring at that low altitude, nor would we crash so cruelly on the ground?

I’ve spent my entire life feeling like an old soul. Like everything had a deeper meaning, and it’s purpose was more than what met the eye. I believe in destiny. That everything happens for a reason, whether we know it or not at the time and that the key is in the acknowledgment that there is a lesson in all that presents itself.

The best way to grow as an individual is to find the lesson.

I’m always looking.

For the lesson...
For the beauty…
For the best in everyone…

Not to mention for my car keys…
For the grocery list I made before I left the house…
And for the newest location of cat barf on my carpet….as these are not the sort of things that should go undetected for long.

Searching is an inevitable part of our human existence, and it never stops.

Not with age, education, or financial independence.

I’m searching now, and feel quite vulnerable.

I won’t be pointing these vulnerabilities out to you, because then you would know I’m not perfect, and I can’t be having any of that!

If you don’t see my flaws directly, then rest assured I’m not going to help you find them.

I’d rather just be…

Another Diversion

I decided to do a survey today, because it's a wonderful way to divert my attention away from writing about poopie stuff.

I got it from Sharon who go it from Tinkamarink, who got it from....
-------------

First Name: Suzanne

Were you named after anyone? Not that I’m aware of. My mother liked Suzanne Plachette at the time.

When was the last time you cried? yesterday

What is your favorite lunch meat? bacon. I love BLT's with extra Mayo.

What is your birth date? It’s in October

Would YOU be friends with you? I wish there were MORE friends like me!

Are you a daredevil? Me? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Nope.

Do looks matter? They certainly give people some sort of first impression. And while first impressions aren’t always correct, there is no denying them.

How do you release anger? Oh that’s easy. I slowly release it into my bloodstream until I am physically ill and in need of medical attention.

Where is your second home? In Tahiti.
Oh wait…You meant for real didn’t you?

Do you trust others easily? Why do you want to know?

What was your favorite toy as a child? My roller skates

Do you have a journal? Just this one.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who me? Nah. *cough cough cough*

What are your nicknames? Now it’s “Baby”. In college it was “Mouse”. When I was little it was “Suzie” or “Suzibell”

Would you bungee jump? Are you crazy?

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no, in fact I don't even untie them to put them on. I usually wear slip ons.

Do you think that you are strong? Sometimes

What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry’s. I couldn’t possibly pick just one?

Shoe Size? 7

Red or pink? Both. Depends on my mood

Night owl or morning person? Probably morning

What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Jeans & white sandals

What are you listening to right now? The sound of the computer buzzing softly in the background.

Last thing you ate? Oriental Chicken Salad from Apple Bee’s.

If you were a color what would you be? Purple. Duh.

What is the weather like right now? Sunny & 85

Last person you talked to on the phone?John

What's your favorite refreshment? Sweet tea

Hair Color? Blackish brown

Eye Color? Amber/brown

Do you wear contacts? No



Favorite Food? Just one?? Not possible. Thai, Japanese, Mexican, to name a few!

Last Movie You Watched? Matchstick Men

Summer or Winter? Spring and Fall

Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs Hugs Hugs

What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Ice cream with gooey, chocolate brownies.

Living Arrangements? John, Little Man, Mister, cat, dog, and an eternal frog.
What Books Are You Reading? I’ve temporarily switched to reading blogs.

What Did You Watch Last night on TV? The Fight Club with Brad Pitt. I expected something really bad, but it was actually very good, brilliantly filmed with an unexpected twist at the end.

Favorite Sounds? The rustling of pampers when a baby toddles by, or little kids laughing

Do you believe in Evolution or Creation? Both. I believe we are created and then evolve as we grow older.

What's the furthest you've been from home? Hmm. Probably Brazil

-Sigh-

I’m having a hard time focusing today. My thoughts follow not a single red line, and are intermittently interrupted with reminders of everything I needed to accomplish today.

I have a hunch that if I sit down and try to write, one of two things will happen. Either I will make some coherent sense of it all leading to a plotted agenda complete with a time framed “to do” list,….or… everything will come out jumbled and by the end of my post you’ll be worrying about my sanity. (more so than usual that is)

My cat is recovering from an intestinal inflammation, caused from his escaping into the garage and eating pollen riddled pine droppings. On first examination the vet couldn’t find anything wrong with him other than an irritated digestive track that resulted in the vomiting. He gave him a shot to stop the nausea, said he would be better the next day, and if he wasn’t to bring him back in.

He’s still throwing up, but it’s better than before so I think I’ll just keep an eye on him and save my $100.

Work related issues are in the gazillions. There’s a lot to do this week, and I’m currently feeling overwhelmed.

I’ve got to call the doctor regarding Little Man. He’s been diagnosed, and I need more information on the medication they’ve prescribed. I’ve not decided yet as to whether or not I’ll get into his situation on the blog at least until I can sort things out, and work through my guilt on not recognizing his symptoms sooner.

I feel like such a schmuck for not discovering this sooner.
I think I’m reasonably smart…
I surf the net….
I READ.

How could I have missed the picture?
I plan to do better going forward, and have lots of reading to do on the subject to educate myself better on how to handle things.

It’s like I suspected. Much rambling occurred, and not much accomplished.
Maybe tomorrow.
I just don't have it in me tonight.

mothers day 

It's Good to be the Queen!

It was good to be a Mom yesterday. The weather was absolutely perfect…Little Man made every effort to ensure that I had a great day, and great it was!

So great in fact that I’d like to declare the rest of this week as “Mother’s Week”, that is if you wouldn’t mind too much.
Can we do that?.. hmmm.. please?

My day started with the delivery of fresh flowers, Pink and white tulips to be specific, and my personal favorite. The cat in his plight to kill all flowers house wide, proceeded to snap the tops off of a few of them before I caught him and relocated the vase to a higher position.

Then we got dressed and had brunch with my girlfriend and her family at the golf club. It’s always a pleasure not to have to cook, or clean the kitchen when everyone is done so that alone would have been a wonderful day. But nope. It didn’t stop there.

After eating we hit a few golf balls on the driving range, (seeings how we were right there and the balls were all piled up and ready to go). I haven’t magically improved since the last time I tried this, (go figure) and although fun…I won’t be quitting my day job any time soon.

Then it was off to the beach for a little while, followed by an ice cream at the Sugar Shack.

Little Man drew a lovely portrait of me in a card.

Now it’s Monday, and life has returned to the usual hustle and bustle. I wouldn’t mind a few more days of pampering and work free living but alas, the bills need paying, and the cat must go to the vet. He’s still not feeling well, so I’ve decided to call in a professional to see what ails him.

You suppose he ate a tulip?

Happy Mother's Day!

A quick post to wish my favorite Blog women a
Happy Mother’s Day!

Take it easy today, and know you belong to one of the most amazing groups of human beings alive.

Mothers!

Please go read this post over at Kismet: Random Bits of Serendipity! It's a beautiful mother's day wish and I couldn't have said it better!

She’s Alive

After three glorious days of whimpering and whining, I am once again up and ready to do something productive with my day.

Thanks to everyone who checked in on me while I was sick. It’s nice to know someone cares when you’re lying on the bathroom floor, marveling at the comforting effect of linoleum against a sweat ridden forehead.

My cat is having sympathy sickness, bless is furry heart. The carpet was dotted again with more of yesterdays mess. I suppose I’ll be taking him to the vet if his condition doesn’t improve. He really needs to stop eating the pollen filled wormy looking things that fall from pine trees and blow into the garage. They are a bugger to clean out of beige carpet and obviously don’t agree with his delicate digestive system.

It’s a toss up today as to whether or not I’m going to take the rest of my antibiotic supply. I’m not sure if the abdominal cramping and related pleasantries were caused by the Zithromax itself, or from another alien source. The side effects listed in the information leaflet mentioned
"some abdominal cramping and diarrhea may occur."

It mentioned nothing however, about profuse sweating, salivating spit glands, and the humbling need to lay curled up on horizontal surfaces, writhing in horrific pain.

Hmmm. Risk relapse from not finishing antibiotic? ..or…risk another 24 hours locked in the bathroom? You see my predicament here.

Bad news…it’s raining outside.
Good news…it’s Friday.
Have a great one!

Honey, The Cat Exploded

I woke up this morning…
which in itself is a feat to be marveled.
Antibiotics, cold medicine, and cough suppressants tend to knock me out, and I was partaking in all three of them yesterday. Unfortunately, I’m feeling about the same as yesterday and plan to go right back to bed as soon as possible.

I first have to clean up the living room.

Apparently while we slumbered, the cat ate himself into oblivion and then exploded on the carpet.
It’s not pretty. Don’t go in there.
Really.

Karma 

Pick up Trucks and Business Suits

Karma has a weird way of showing up and biting you on the backside if you’re not careful. I oughta know...let me share.

I dropped my van off at the Ford dealer Friday to have them check (once again) for the source of the strong fumes radiating into the interior cabin. They have wonderful customer service there, and tended to my business in expedient time…even offering a loaner vehicle to drive while they worked on mine.

“That would be great”! I said, half expecting another van, or some sort of 4 door sedan to pull up around the corner.

Nope.

It was a pick up truck.

A big, white, workman’s looking pickup truck.
Four doors, …big wheels, space enough in the back for my hunting dog AND any deer I might catch!

I remember once telling a friend of mine, that I would NEVER, EVER…be caught dead driving around in a pick up truck. I went on and on about the stigma attached to pick ups, red necks, rebel flags and mounted rear window gun racks. I even went so far as to say I’d never marry anyone that drove a truck either.
Bah. No way. It just wasn’t my style.

I guess I looked a tad perplexed when I tried to figure out how the back door opened, because one of the guys came out and showed me how to work it.

Being the gracious Belle that I am, thanked them profusely for their help…
hiked up my navy skirt and stepped up into the truck.

There is something very ironic to me about a navy pinstriped suit, a string of pearls, and a pick up truck. I’m sure I looked as ridiculous as I felt, and you know they got a good laugh out of the whole scene as I revved up the engine and drove off in the masculine looking machine.

Truth be told…it’s actually rather pleasant to drive…tank-like and tall.
Makes me feel like the king of the road, and feeling king-like is always a good thing right?!

So you see? Once again I am reminded that you should never say “never”, and judge too harshly… because you just NEVER know when karma will rise it’s ugly head, and make you eat your words.

I stand corrected.

and, I'll be needing some dental floss to help with this crow I've got stuck in my teeth.

*I kid you not...I looked over to my right and there was a small, hand sized parade style rebel flag on a stick lying on the passenger side floor board.

You see what I mean?
-sigh-