It was Guido, in the Alley…with a revolver

Ok, not really. It was more like Mary, in the bank, over a cup of coffee, but had I told you that earlier would you really have checked back in today to see if I made it home alive? Probably not.

The good news is that I am indeed alive, the birds are chirping and the sun is shining. I’ve applied for a line of credit that will cover the compounding expenses I’m incurring at the bank rob..…er uh…I mean the dentist’s office and as luck would have it, Mary is a compassionate soul.

She is only more than willing to help me acquire a pain free smile, with a jaw joint that doesn’t click or pop when I chew. “Just fill out these forms, initial here, and sign on the bottom of pages 2,3,4,5 and 6.” "When you’ve finished signing (my pretty), gather your belongings and step back into the office with the big red door. I’ll meet you there for fingerprinting, blood work analysis, and to arrange the details for the handover of your next born child. You can leave your van keys with my assistant too as we will be needing them for collateral, along with your house keys and your right arm. You are right handed aren’t you? (We only accept the dominate one needed for daily functioning)”.

Now that I am contractually obligated to a life of complete and utter Servitude to Mary, I’ll be sure to smile effortlessly and wave as my dentist drives by in his new Mercedes sport.

I’ll bet Mary’s somehow in cahoots with my dentist and they laugh every night whilst rolling lavishly together in big piles of my money. Who can blame them? Had I had the foresight to become a dentist, instead of a traveling saleswoman of sorts, it could have been me with all that money! But I didn’t.

So like I said when I started... I’m alive, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. I’ll choose to focus on that today and think about how great it will be when my jaws are fixed, pain free and my smile rivals that of any moviestar.

Oh yes,

all donations can be wired directly to the Savannah Bank, care of the “When Suzanna Smiles” fund. Thanks for your contributions.