The Trap 

Even Santa is Irish today! 

The float 

My father and I 

Me and My Vulcan 

I’m getting the fever again.

With the weather the way it has been these last few days…sunshine, fresh crisp air, it’s obvious that Spring is in the making and I can just hear that familiar tune of the open road resonating from the metal and chrome.

Get your Motor running…
head out on the highway….
Looking for adventure…

It was a beautiful weekend and there were a million bikers out enjoying the moment. Wind blowing through their hair, sensations of leather against their skin, the exhilarating sensations from the vibrations of the engines.
wait…
what was I talking about again?
Oh yes.
The indescribable feeling of being out on the open road on a motorcycle.

I sold my motorcycle last summer and for a while I didn’t think about it much. It’s too cold and windy during the winter, so riding is put on the back burner anyways. But the minute the temperature reaches the 70’s and 80’s, the bikers come out of the woodwork. You see them everywhere, riding in groups, or you’ll pass the occasional lone rider out enjoying a solitary afternoon.

Here in Savannah, we have a great pizza place called Vinnie’s and it’s the local gathering place for bikers out on a Sunday ride. Everyone sits outside café style, and the unmistakable sound of Harley’s intermingled with various other models make for a most spectacular entertainment. There’s a waiting list to get a table but no one seems to mind because there are rows of gleaming motorcycles lined up for everyone to admire.

Now don’t get me wrong and mistake me for a rough and tough biker babe.
I’m a novice,
and a chicken shit to boot!
You won’t find me actually riding around the roads in anything less than full black leather attire, black boots, leather gloves, and a full face helmet because I want every inch of my skin covered. Oh…and about that hair blowing in the wind thing?
I put mine up in a ponytail and bind the tail in a leather hair wrap preventing it from flailing about and becoming a tangled mess.

I’m inclined to say that if you met me, you’d never peg me for someone who rides. But I do…and I love it!
In a…safe…responsible…uh, controlled, sort of way.

And let’s talk about how heavy motorcycles are can we? With a curb weight that’s about 4 times my own weight, it can get kind of tricky trying to hold it up while not in motion. Motion is a good thing… you’re moving, gravity helps to hold you upright. It’s a scientific wonder. Just try to move one around in a garage though, when you need to get it out of the way of the car door without dropping it on it’s side? Not that I ever dropped my bike or anything like that..(ahem) oopsie!


I’ve been looking again at bikes and maybe I’ll be an owner once again. It’s a thought.
I’m contemplating,
but you know me and decisions. –sigh-

S 

hmmmmm.....

I don’t have a darn thing to write about today.
Nothing of interest to any other living soul as far as I can tell, unless of course you’re just particularly fond of hearing about all the paperwork I did this afternoon, or this great barking cough I’ve still got going on.

Not interested?
I didn’t think so.

I’ll just post something hokey today instead.

Behold:

Speedy the Hamster

Please don’t let the excitement of it all prevent you from saying hello and telling me how cute our little rat is.

Speedy 

In the Name of Research

Stop by Bitchitude and answer her brief questionaire to help her with a school research assignment. (It's important to help our sistah's who have returned to college) She needs 100 respondents and it only takes a second. Thank you!!!

Turbo Taxing

……. Add the additional investment income, minus the losses, carry the one, plus the charitable contributions, deduct the kid………

I’m Turbo Taxing.
Need caffeine.
And obviously more deductions.
Isn‘t this fun?

……..ignore the rental real estate royalties, partnerships, S corporations, and trusts, (cancel the vacation plans), add child support and alimony income…(falls out of seat laughing) …what child support or alimony income? Never saw it before?…erase that,.... divide by the self insurance deduction…thank goodness I didn’t take an early withdraw penalty……

And...Enter.

Whew, it seems I don’t owe any more taxes this year! In fact, I get a whopping $85 back!
Woohoo!
Dinner’s on me tonight kids!
Where’we going?

It's Electric...(boogie woogie woogie)!

So I was locked inside the house right?
But wait…don’t you mean locked out of the house Suzanne?

No..no... I mean in the house.

You see, we lost power this morning because the wind blew too hard.

Island living can have it’s advantages, but the above ground placement of electrical power lines is not one of them. Power companies are restricted from burying the cables in the ground for obvious reasons of rising tidal waters and circling sharks, so instead they camouflage the cables by intermingling them between the beautiful moss draped oak trees. While out of the imminent danger of flood waters, they are alternatively at the mercy of gusting coastal winds and flailing tree branches.

…And blowing winds we had a plenty this morning.

Electricity… we did not.

So there I was trapped inside the house, unable to open the electric garage door that houses my minivan. Coincidentally enough the front door was securely dead bolted with a key, that inconveniently seemed to be missing as well…
along with the electricity.

I suppose I could have climbed out of a window, but not having any particular place to be at the moment, didn’t seem an appealing option.

Luckily the power returned around lunch.

I still don’t have to be anywhere until 3:00, as I'm home sick with a respiratory infection again,...coughing up what appears to be nuclear waste mixed with lung tissue,

but it’s nice to know I can get out if I have to!

Top o' the morning to ya!

It's been quiet on my part lately. Mostly because I've been contemplating a multitude of subjects, and found it entirely too tedious to choose just one to write about.
So I didn't.
Choose that is.
Or write.
I just debated them all inside my own mind until a proper conclusion had been achieved, or not... and called it good.
My other excuse is that my laptop is kerflunk, thus eliminating the mobile convenience of writing while multi tasking around the house. I find being bound to this desktop far too inconvenient, and I am more likely to burn dinner if I blog in any other room besides the kitchen.

It's a beautiful sunny Sunday. The windows are open and a heavenly breeze periodically lifts the curtains at intermittent intervals allowing the fresh air to saturate the room.
I love to open the windows when the weather is like this...crisp, dry, and in the upper 70's. The staleness of the past drifts out allowing for the newness of spring to energize the atmosphere. It brings with it a promise of something good to come.
Good vibrations.
Good Chi.

Savannah is gearing up for it's yearly St. Patrick's Day Celebration, and the tourist wander the streets enjoying the scenery and the hype. The population doubles every March as more than 200,000 visitors pack the streets of our fair city for
St. Patrick's Day “Savannah Style”. In a few more weeks the flowers will bloom and the water in every fountain will flow emerald green, dyed during a ceremony that dates back one hundred years. As the big day nears, green becomes the color of choice and you'll find it in the clothing, the food and yes, even the beer. Dogs will sport green hair, cars will display green flags, and tourist will stagger while Savannah celebrates her Irish heritage.

If you've never experienced a St. Patrick's Day in Savannah, you should at least read about it once out of curiosity. Here's a sample

In the meantime, I'll be spending the rest of this evening doing my taxes.
May the Luck of the Irish be with me.

NO!

NO!
N-
O-
NO!
No, No, No!
Which part of NO do you not understand?
The “N”
or the “O”?
NO!

(shhh don't interrupt me... I'm practicing something I apparently have a hard time saying!)

NO!
Absolutely not!
Don't even ask!
NO
NO
NOOO!
Nope.

(How am I doing?)

While I openly admit that making decisions is a weakness of mine.... Saying NO is just as difficult. Unfortunately, this is negatively compounded by the frequent urge to “give” or “help” out others who are struggling with some sort of personal crisis.

While being a “giver” in itself is not a bad thing, possibly even considered a noble trait by some, it adversely comes with a down side, illustrated in this simple statement.

The number of “takers” increases exponentially to the level of weakness, or inability to say “no” exhibited by the part of the “giver”.

That is to say that if you are considered a giver...at any given moment there will be a line of people outside of your home, wanting something from your life. Someone who uses you for their own personal gain whether it be by borrowing money, seeking shelter, or by the consumption of resources. The worse part is that these “takers” do so without the first sign of conscious, or remorse for their behavior, choosing instead to continually ask, borrow and consume.

I realize that everyone, at some point or another, can find themselves down on their luck and in need of a helping hand. I think it's our duty to help them, as fellow human beings. What I'm talking about in this instance though is something a bit more chronic. The person who habitually needs because they find it easier to use others than to fend for themselves. The lingering house guest, the perpetual borrower, the incessant individual who seems to consume with no remorse. And yet I can't seem to find the strength to say no, when it becomes too much, or out of balance. When the situation seems to drain the life force from my person.

I can only hope that in the meantime, God will look down onto me in a favorably manner... and that when I arrive at the pearly gates of Heaven, (bankrupt and drained) She will wipe my worried brow and welcome me inside for the most awesome cup of hot chocolate,
topped with whipped cream,
on the house...
of course.

Are you a giver or a taker? Have you ever been taken advantage of... or felt used.??

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter “S” and the Letter “Z”

S is for sleep.
Sigh
Something I’ll apparently be having nothing of
Seems awfully lonely in the wee hours or the morning
Should I order a pizza?
Suppose I should take some Benadryl, huh?
This sucks!

Z is for…
Uh…
Um…
*taps keyboard impatiently with fingers…
Think think think

Oh forget it. I can’t think of anything that starts with
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Step up and be counted!

It's time again for the yearly Home Show in Savannah this weekend, and I've been busy of late.

Several customers have exhibit booths proudly displaying my wares so it’s important that I am there to polish them up, decorate them with literature, and wave my perfectly manicured nails around like a trade show Vannah White. I will answer any and every question, pass out free key chains, and woo them with my salesmanship skills until they are absolutely convinced they must have our product in their home or die .

I started thinking about how fun it would be if this was instead a Blogger’s Convention and trade show. Each exhibitor would introduce some new fangled concept in personal web log design, and publishers would vie for the rights to the most sought out of Authors, offering obscene amounts of cash for our talents as writers.

It also gave me an idea for a poll I could use with my free 30 day subscription to Neomyz poll creator.

It was either that or:

How much do you like Me?
a. I like you
b. I like you –like you
c. I don’t like you at all
d. You’re a doodie head

Please humor me and take the poll!

Due to a problem with the script for the poll, (and my lack of ability to fix it) I've removed the poll on Blogging conventions. Please feel free to continue participating in the one featured in this post.

P.s. If you think i'm a doodie head...then...then...oh yeah...well...I know you are but what am I?

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. -Patrick Overton

I got this in an email...

I got this in an email a few days ago. It's similar to one I received many many years ago that made such an impression on me. It illustrates a basic philosophy that I try to live by....
and it explains why I drink my milk in my good crystal.

I thought I would share.
------------------

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched something on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Jr. toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away....
Life is not a race.
Take it slower.
Hear the music before the song is over.
--------------------------------
Drink your milk in the good crystal!

Bubble Fairy by Amy Brown

Instead of posting I'm redirecting my traffic to Sharon today. Please visit her and send your thoughts and prayers!

When Suzanne Smiles: The final Chapter.

Well then.
What could I possibly say that hasn’t already been said about my Dentist and his new Porshe/house on the mountain/house on the beach/private jet/Costa Rican property/ (fill in the blank)?
His children are doing well, thank you for asking. They’re both in their 2nd year of college you know…one will make a fine Surgeon one day, and the other should be set for law school by 2008. I had hoped for a thank you card, or some small token of appreciation for my selfless support of their continuing educational needs, but hmmmm, as of yet, not the first word. I’m sure their just busy bless their little hearts.
After a final grinding, filing and sandpaper session my teeth rival that of any red carpet diva. I’m a new woman in my new bright shiny flawless Porcelain teeth and aren’t they beautiful? *
*The correct answer is “oh my, yes Suzanne…just beautiful”. (Or something equally as flattering).
$12,000 later (shudder) I am pleased with the results. My teeth actually fit together when I bite down, and that annoying little pop and click has disappeared from my jaw joint.!
I’m happy on pain killers, and ready to take a nappie nappie.
Except for that one little financial thing I still need to work out with Guido…
Life is good on this 15th day of February.
 

My Valentine! 

A Valentine Fairy by my favorite artist of fairies and mermaids: Amy Brown

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  

Contemblogging ...for lack of a better title.

I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking lately.

Five months ago I had no idea what a blog was. Since then I’ve learned that having a blog can mean many different things for different people. Some use them as an outlet for creative writing, expressing poetry, or telling stories. Other’s use them as a gathering point to centralize news events, political stories, arts, crafts, recipes or photographs. On occasion you might even find a blog where someone pours their struggles out into the blogosphere touching the hearts and souls of unsuspecting readers. Funds are raised for charities, prayers are consolidated for those in need, and friendships are formed throughout a virtual community.

I re-read the first post I wrote on Contemblogging. I debated with myself on what purpose it would serve, what void it would fill if I made the jump and what prey tell, would I even write about.
I contemplated .

And so it was born.

I filed it under the humor category of the blog directory because I suspected it would be a place for me to talk about the silly things that run through my mind on a daily basis. It’s turned out to be more of a general blog than anything else, not particularly complying with any of the typical norms. I’m not sharing knitting skills, I’m not a minority Daddy blogger, I don’t have anything inspirational to say, and let’s be honest…a stand up comedian I’m not. I feel like the outsider…the kid that blends into the woodwork not really having a place to fit in…a category to call home. My BLAHg.

I’ll be honest. That’s how I’ve felt most of my life so it should come to me as no surprise that blogging would turn out to be the same sort of experience. Just good enough to go unnoticed by the bullies, but not quite the prom queen.

I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to better myself, striving to reach something…. ANYTHING,… to improve my self worth. What I’ve learned is that there is always someone who can do it better. "It" being the current task at hand. I can do alot of things a little, but still can't find the one thing I do best.

I’m still searching for my purpose.

I’m contemblogging again.

V.D.

No… not venereal disease silly.
Valentine’s Day!!

Some people dread it like the flu. Others require very little urging to do something kind for their loved ones, and find Valentines Day just another wonderful excuse.

I happen to fall into the latter of categories, because I can think of no better holiday than one that’s sole purpose is to celebrate LOVE. Whether it be the love you have for your partner, child, parents, or friends, there’s a Hallmark card just waiting on the shelf with their name on it.

When it all boils down to it, love is what makes the world go around. It’s what matters the most in a society full of opportunities to skew your priorities and focus on all the wrong things. We tend to neglect the ones we are the closest too, saving manners and polite social etiquette for strangers we pass in the mall. We forget to say thank you to our partners for doing the dishes for a change, or making sure the laundry is done. We neglect to comment on how smashing they look in their new outfit today, or how nice the project is turning out that they’ve been working on all week. We hop into bed, exhausted at the end of the day, and start to read or watch television…forgetting to wrap our arms around one other in a warm inviting hug. Isn’t it after all, these little things that made the relationship so wonderful in the beginning?

Feeling loved and loving others is for me, the most important aspect of life and so I celebrate Valentines Day in all of its commercial glory…without bitterness, or dread. I decorate the dinner table with red, and serve heart shaped goodies. We eat chocolate, and exchange cards, I make sure my Valentines know how special they are to me, and how much I love them… each and every day of the year.

Has anyone seen my letter? The one between "G and J"

I seem to be missing a key on my keyboard tis morning. I’m appy to say it isn’t a letter tat I use a lot, but never te less, tis means I will once again be needing repair work on my laptop. I’m not appy about tis at all, because I use my laptop every day and tis will be most inconvenient. tere seems to be a small problem wit te rigt sift key as well, causing an embarrassing issue with capitalization mistakes stemmed from te rigt key malfunction.

I’m not trilled wit te timing of tis eiter because little man is sick and I’ve got to take im to te doctor wic leaves little time for laptop repairs. –big sig -

I’m considering putting out an all points bulletin and informing te police. Peraps my little key has been kidnapped and is lost and scared all alone, trying to get ome rigt tis very moment? If anyone knows te wereabouts of my missing key, please inform te local autorities as soon as possible.

Tank you

I was ruthless.
I spared no feelings and accepted no excuses.
I made it clear there was to be no more crude or indecent behavior on my watch…
or else.
No wild parties, and no consorting with neighbor pairs no matter how sexy they might be.

Except for that one incident forcing me to separate the hoochie ankle straps from the Nikes… It looks like order has returned to the closet.

- Two huge hefty bags full of clothes ready for good will
- Multiple pairs of well behaved, shoes.

Who’s the boss now… Huh?
 

2 

February 4 marks the 2nd annual National Wear Red Day for Women! Join the millions of women, including Toni Braxton, who will wear red to help raise awareness of heart disease as the No. 1 killer of women. Show your support of the Go Red For Women movement by wearing red and becoming a part of reducing heart disease in America’s women.
It won’t just be people dressed in red on February 4. Landmarks all over America will Go Red For Women. The Empire State Building, Graceland, Niagara Falls and the Seattle Space Needle are a few of the national sites that will be illuminated in red to raise awareness around women and heart disease.
Here’s to you SHARON
 

THE POWER OF RED

http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3028259

How are those resolutions working out for ya?

After a quick glance at my New Year's resolution list

I've decided it's time to tackle the cleaning of my closet this weekend.

This is not a task for the weak at will I’m here to tell you because I can still fit in to all of my clothes (and I’ve been collecting since college)! I might also remind you of my inability to make a decision and what a struggle it will be for me to decide what to discard, and what to keep.

Don’t even get me started on the gazillion pairs of shoes living in there either! You’ll never convince me those shoes aren’t multiplying on their own, …at night…when the door is closed, and the lights are off.

Tell me there’s not some wild monkey shoe lovin’ going on!

I walked in one morning to find the flip flops all over the floor, sexy boots doing a dry hump with the Nike’s… business pumps on top of the summer sandals, …. Next day there was a pair of open toed pumps on the shelf that I have no recollection of purchasing. Mmm hmmm.

I have a nice big walk-in style closet equipped with shelves, and lined with rows of hanging racks at varying levels.

Should be enough room for the shoe families, all of their offspring AND a new Starbucks by the time I’ve finished.

Wish me luck and ...

Decisiveness.